The idea of having a summer love is something I’ve imagined for a long time. Where you meet someone and grow closer to them during the summer all while having the time of your life with this person who makes you smile more than you ever have before. Going for a bike ride around a lake in the warm summer heat. Splashing through puddles from the rain and racing down hills at a dangerous but hilarious speed. Taking a trip to the beach and burying him in the sand. Having late night talks while driving around the city, where the lights shine bright reflecting your soul’s happiness in the moment. Every time you see his face you can’t help but smile. He always gives you the best hugs that just make you melt. He makes you laugh so hard that you’re certain you’ve developed abs specifically from his ability to make you laugh. You hope and pray that he will be the first to say something or hold your hand or even go in for that first kiss.
As time goes on, you think maybe he’s too shy to say anything, and he’s not really sure of how you feel. So you make the decision to say something to him, and it takes all the strength and courage you can muster. So when you finally are able to tell him in some crazy dramatic way, you leave it in his court on whether or not to chase after you...and he does. He runs after you and grabs your arm to spin you around to face him before he pulls you so close to him that you’re not sure where you end and he begins. Then he kisses you with a passion that you never thought you would experience and it makes your head spin and your heart feel like it’s going to explode. You pull away and smile shyly, saying you weren’t expecting that to happen and he smiles and says that he’s been waiting all week to do that. Then you have to leave and go home, but you do so with the biggest smile on your face and your stomach filled with butterflies.
Or maybe your instance ends a little more like mine. Everything happens the way I’ve just described and you tell him how you feel in some dramatic way, leaving it in his court on whether or not to chase you... and he doesn’t. He gets in his car and drives away as you walk into the airport, not knowing how he really feels. You call your friend to tell her you did it and she is so happy for you and tells you it’s in his court now. When you get on the plane you see he posted something on instagram about how genuine and kind of a human you are. Expressing how thankful he is for you and your friendship. Then he texts you when you land, thanking you for being honest with your feelings, but that he just sees you as his best friend. You say it’s okay and that you just needed to say something, but you know full well that you only told him because you were almost certain he felt the same way. He invited you to his family’s house across the country after all.
It hurts even more when you look back at the conversations you had while you were together. The way he said “I just knew when I met you that you were going to be very special and in my life for a long time.” Those words made you swoon and that’s what drove you to say how you felt.
But then he continues to talk to you, though, opening up to you about his life and feelings, which is hard but he cares for you and wants to be more vulnerable with you. Knowing he cares about you and still thinks of you as this special person in his life makes you feel better, right? When you call him and he says “We were just talking about you!” You laugh and wonder why on earth he could be talking about you every time you call him. He says it’s because he misses you and his family does too. But he just misses you as his friend. There’s nothing else there for him. You won’t ever be anything more to him. But you’re his best friend! That’s enough, right?