Butterflies by Kelsey Leign

Did you know you could capture the attention of everyone the minute you walk into a party? Did you notice that I caught my breath when you shook my hand? Could you tell I was stuttering over my words as I tried to introduce myself? Did you know it was because just one look at you made my heart flutter and my mind to go blank? Could you see as the heat rose to my cheeks when you spoke my name while grasping my hand? Were your eyes lighting up when you smiled at me or was that just the fire dancing in your eyes? Could you tell I was nervous every time you came to talk to me? Could you hear my heart beating out of my chest? Could you tell you sent shivers down my spine when you accidentally brushed my hand with yours? Did you realize how many other girls wanted your attention that night? Were you aware that I kept my distance and watched you from afar? Was there a reason you kept coming over to talk to me? Or was it my friend you came over to talk to? Could you have known when we offered you a ride that I had already given up on the idea of us? Would you ever find out that I was trying to match you with my friend even while I had eyes for you?

But then… Why did you sit so close to me the next time we were together? Why does it seem like every time I looked up, my eyes met yours? Was there something on my face? Did I accidentally wink at you and then turn a bright shade of red when you smiled? Were you aware that that simple act made my heart melt? Did you know your whole face lights up when you laugh? Was I really that funny all night? Do we just have a similar sense of humor or was I really making you genuinely laugh so hard that your eyes crinkled up and tears appeared in the corners? Can you even remember what I said that made you laugh so hard? Are my friends just trying to make me feel better by telling me you couldn’t keep your eyes off of me? Are you always this competitive or was it just because I was winning by so much that you couldn’t help but taunt me? Do you realize how attractive you look when your competitive side is broken with laughter? 

Did you realize that text you sent me asking where I was gave me butterflies? Did you know I was nervous as hell for that night with our friends? Were you aware that I had genuine fear of being out on the ice? Were you cautious to approach me due to the high volume of guy friends surrounding me? Did you know I waited until you saw me there to actually be brave enough to step out on the ice? Were you smiling at me or at my mini freak out of being so unstable in skates? What made you want to be next to me most of the night? Did I upset you when I said not to hold onto me because I would pull you down with me? What made you keep offering anyways? Was it because I kept wobbling or was it due to the sparks I felt between us? Did you feel them to? Did you get butterflies when my hands flew to yours for balance? Do you realize the comfort and safety I felt with you behind me, your hands on my waist and my hands on yours? Was that a thumb rub? Did you hook your fingers into mine? What made you let go? Did me almost falling on my face make your day? Was it because it was funny or because you got to catch me and hold me close again? Were we acting in a Hallmark movie?

Why were these moments significant to me? Am I reading into it like I always do? Why did I fall for someone completely out of my league? Are you aware that everything you do is analyzed by my friends and I? Do you know that you’ve stumped every single one of them? Why does everything have to be so confusing? Why am I being so cautious with you when I have never been like that in the past? Is it uncertainty? Or is it me wanting to be certain before I say anything? What is it about you that has made me stray from my normal path of getting it over with? Why can’t I just tell you how I feel and find out how you feel about me? Did any of this even cross your mind? Am I making a fool of myself? Why can’t I get you out of my head? Where do I go from here?