This very blog post was on my to-do list.
There’s always something I’m working on and a to-do list on my phone really helps me get all of my tasks organized, but even then some errands get lost in the shuffle. You see, when I skip a task on my list, a push notification lingers on my phone and it drives me bonkers! I absolutely despise having a push notification on my phone, probably because I have some mild, undiagnosed OCD. I’ve seen people with email notifications in the tens of thousands and I had to bite down on my lip to prevent myself from snatching their phone and smashing it on the ground. Seriously, just disable push notifications at that point to keep a clean phone.
This list is incredibly helpful though because if I don’t get a project done, it nags at me from the back of my head. Not all the time, just when I’m relaxing and feeling accomplished.
“Oh man, I’m really enjoying this movie! I should make a movie. Well, I need to write a script first. Ah geez, I was supposed to write a script…”
Writing it down and having that nagging push notification is a great visual reminder to do that before the guilt sets in. I’m sweating thinking about what’s left on my list.
Deleting that task seems like cheating in a way. It’s sort of like I’m skipping a level in a video game. The developer wants me to experience the entire game from start to finish, but I’m cutting out certain obstacles and deceiving the game and in a way, myself.
If I have an idea in mind for a project, I just have to finish it. I can’t really show off my work portfolio with a bunch of half baked projects. I need to have some completed works that I need to show off. If that’s not my line of thinking then I think that I have to complete it for myself. I need to prove to myself that I can complete that project or I can never really move on from it.
Sometimes a project just does not work and even if it does, it keeps me away from other obligations such as bigger ideas, friends, and even my own self-care. You can’t force a piece of coal to shine, just as much as you can’t force a project to work. People change with time and that means older ideas don’t align with who they are at the moment. They need to express themselves in new ways and not get stuck in the old ones.
Though that project is still on my to-do list, it is ready to be deleted. I've made the conscious effort to abandon it. All that’s left to do is discard it from the list. Though it’s just a simple swipe and a tap on my smartphone, it feels like I am pushing a boulder with all my ideas, hard work, and heart off a cliff. Once that boulder reaches the bottom of that cliff, I can’t push it back up. It’s gone. Time to roll up a completely different rock.
Hopefully, I’ve become a stronger person after that project. Maybe I can tackle the new one with a bit more ease. If another project doesn’t sound too frightening, I might add a brand new item on my to-do list. Maybe I can check it off this time.